Review: AI War: Fleet Command

Why me? Why does it fall upon my shoulders to save humanity from that galaxy-spanning techno-tyrant? Only by the graces of my good karma was I able to barely maintain a D average in any math class after long division. And I’m the one who has to A) save humanity and B) write about it?

I’ll tell you right now: ‘A’ was an utter failure. Every battle fought outside of the tutorial went horribly, horribly awry. Even the tutorial I only won because the game instructed me on what to do every step of the way... and it still took me almost 10 hours! In the end, the machine won 3-to-1 and the human race was destroyed, because I’m just too dumb.

Fighting the passive-aggressive AI hive-mind requires one thing more than anything else: finesse. And patience. Two things. I lack both, as anyone who ever played golf with me during that brief hobby experiment can confidently attest. You see, the AI largely doesn't care about you at first -- until you do something to anger it , something to focus its Sauron-like eye squarely on your meek, little Shire that is humanity’s last remaining planet in the galaxy.

You know how they say, “Those who can’t do, teach?” Well, I get that now. I can lecture you on how to play a good game of AI War (at a 101-level, but still...):

1. Scout the galaxy for high-priority targets.
2. Focus on capturing the AI’s advanced factories and facilities.
3. Gradually establish a secure pipeline to the AI’s homeworld.
4. Victory.

There are lots (and lots and lots and lots) of subtleties, variations and caveats between the lines of that galaxy-saving to-do list. Scouting is, by necessity, a game of micro-management. Scouts are fragile and you aren't allowed very many of them at a time; you have to keep a close eye on them, both to keep them alive and to see what they find in the enemy’s systems.

Ideally, all that scouting pays off and you find an advanced facility. Advanced facilities are pretty much what they sound like: advanced versions of the same facilities you can build from the start (ship factories and the like), only they unlock the most powerful units. And only the AI has them, so tracking them down and capturing them in invaluable. Incidentally, they’re heavily defended and usually far-off from where you start. That’s where the more advanced tactics come in.

You don’t want to send waves of ships to capture systems one-by-one until you reach the system with the advanced facility you've been eyeing; that just makes the AI angry. So you have to blitz them, by using warp gates, moving your units safely in armored carriers, and establishing beachheads and temporary bases. Capturing a particularly well-defended advanced facility can take up hours of a game in itself.

Finally, you’ll have to take out the AI’s home world. But how to get your massive assault fleet to the enemy home world without angering the AI and seeing destruction reign down on your now-unprotected home world (since you've called all of your ships in to assault the extremely well-defended AI home world)? Well, that’s the trick, isn't it? And one I could never figure out.

I’m paranoid. And I’m obsessive. And I’m slow. Also, I have terrible short-term memory -- I keep a to-do list for my daily routine... no, seriously. There’s no way somebody like me is fit to be humanity’s savior.

My typical strategy -- pestering the machine like a mosquito -- is a bad one. The all-seeing-eye becomes irritated and swats. I take some hits, but I’m fine. Then it gets downright angry. Then it sends it sends its Witch King riding a wyvern to squish me, only the wyvern breaths Raid and shoots homing-lasers out of its eyes. A few minutes later and humanity is extinct. Oops.

But what if I were well-adjusted and smart? What if I could play AI War the way I understand -- quite correctly, from what I've seen of other peoples’ successes -- that it’s meant to played? An elaborate back-and-forth game of action vs. reaction, patient wit vs. volatile force -- that’s what AI War is, for those who can play it well. It’s a game of manipulation, as you balance the AI’s sensitivity, tricking it into allowing you to cut a line straight to its heart, making it think of you as a trivial pest, while in reality you’re more like a hive of termites: an annoyance, as easily crushed as you are forgotten... until you bring their house crumbling down when they least expect it.

AI War: Fleet Command is one of those games that gives back what you put into it. Seasoned war-gamers will find a lot to love in the long-form campaigns and delicate balance of risk and reward. Dummies like me will be forced to evolve or die.